I read this quote on a friend's blog today and had to share - because it spoke to me, too.
"The most difficult part of birth is the first year afterwards. It is the year of travail - when the soul of a woman must birth the mother inside her. The emotional labour pains of becoming a mother are far greater than the physical pangs of birth; these are the growing surges of your heart as it pushes out selfishness and fear and makes room for sacrifice and love. It is a private and silent birth of the soul, but it is no less holy than the event of childbirth, perhaps it is even more sacred."For me, becoming a mother is the most exciting and frightening thing that I have ever done. It's a life-changing event that in my life can be compared only to marriage in the scope of its impact - but with marriage, I already knew Ryan. I got to date him, be friends with him, "practice" if you will, before the actual change.
With parenting, there is no "practice" phase. There is only real life. From the moment that I knew this baby was coming to our family, our lives changed. My life changed. My whole perspective and plan changed, because now it is real. It's no longer hypothetical or hoped for; it's real, and there is no going back, and we would never ever want to. I am a mother now, even though our child hasn't even been born yet. I will always be a mother, forever, because that child is a part of our family now.
I worry all the time that something will happen to our little one, and I suppose that's the first step in my transformation into a mother, because I've been told you never really stop worrying. For the first time there is someone who is completely and totally relying on me. Our hearts are already beginning to connect in a way that only mothers can truly understand, and I am only beginning to understand it myself.
I am excited and scared and anxious and so, so happy all at the same time to be able to experience this new phase of life, to share it with Ryan, to meet our little one, to watch him or her grow and learn and become someone and to learn to love more than ever before because of this new experience. To love is truly the greatest joy and greatest pain that someone can ever experience. I am learning every day how great and encompassing the love of our heavenly parents for us must be. Someday I will be able to fully comprehend it - but for now, my transformation is still in process.
We love you, little Sommerfeldt!
